Didn’t Effn work out for us!

7th Embryo transfer didn’t stick! FUCK.

Such a long drawn out build up… months of injections, ass patches, bucket load’s of tablets, nasal spray that burns the skull and gel stick’s up my V-jay jay….

Then came the two week wait …….

5DP5DT (5 days past 5 day embryo transfer) I decided to try a home pregnancy test = Negative.

7DP5DT still with high hopes done another HPT with my first morning pee = Negative. Tell myself that slow and steady wins the race….faster is not always better. Later that night tried another brand of HPT and again = Negative.

8DP5DT so many side effects, to many to monitor with out going mad. Done another HPT = Negative. Shit what’s going on??

Its always at this stage of the TWW that I find the hardest to get through.

9DP5DT really irritable – Everything and every one is annoying me today. Tits feel like their going to explode, waves of nausea, Vag feels heavy. Waited all day before doing another HPT. This time got one of those first response digital tests….at 5:30pm peed on it and waited anxiously…..those words ”NOT PREGNANT” flashed up and I didnt have any feelings…..Numb

10DP5DT – one day off from my HCG blood test, just one more day. No bleeding yet.

11DP5DT : 20/11/2020 Today is the day we officially find out what I feel I already know the answer to……yet still remaining hopeful, telling myself that maybe all the HPT came back negative because there’s not enough HCG in the blood stream yet. Maybe the medications I’m on are giving off a false reading. Still no period and its cycle day 32 thats a good sign.

Had HCG bloods done at 9am, received a call from the clinic with results a lunch time.

I already knew my results by the tone of their voice the moment nurse said hello.

This time I had no tears no emotion at all.

After the usual “so sorry thought this one was the one, do you want to use our free psychology services? Was put through to reception to book a follow up appointment with our specialist….January 2021.

HOPE.

Hope really is an amazing thing. Given all that I knew, Still some how in the back of my mind, thought that maybe the blood test results were wrong, periods still haven’t arrived and maybe there’s still a chance this will work.

Cycle day 34 periods came.

Credit to :SKVLLPEL

The day after my periods came with the vengeance our fertility specialist called to see if we wanted to reschedule an earlier appointment, rather than waiting till next year.

‘How soon are you looking at trying again?” she asked. ”Like yesterday” I replied. “Ok when will you and Mr.R be in the same room together?”she asked. “At lunch today” I said. “Great ill give you both a call at 1pm for a consultation if that works for you?”. “Yes , Excellent!” I replied.

Mr.R and I had a long phone consultation with our specialist and by the time we hung up, we were jumping right back into another round of follicle stimulation injections.

No time to mentally prepare, started Menopur injections the next night on cycle day 2.

Round 7 of stims here we go and embryo transfer number 8 in 2021!

7th Cycle plan

Cycle day 6 of stims…..Started Ogalutran 250mcg along with Menopur 450u

Menopur packet

Signed forms ready for egg retrieval

Waiting in the clinic for a follicle scan and bloods in the middle of a COVID-19 lockdown

EMBRYO TRANSFER DAY 9/11/2020 @ 11:30am

1BB – With assisted hatching: can see in the the middle left hand side

Woke up early and eager.

Took my baby making med’s. 

Had a shower and shave.

Done a wee at 10:30 and then started drinking 500 mls of water to fill up the bladder nicely so the embryologist has a good view on screen.

Traffic was unusually busy and slow……time seemed to be happening in slow motion. Rolled into the clinic just in the nick of time, as we walked through the doors a nurse called out my name.

Mr R and I jogged down the hall to the change room…..stripped off and wrapped one of those modesty blankets around my waist. 

Busted through the side door into the transfer room, eagerly awaiting to hear how our embryo thawed. 

Hi everyone….the staff at the clinic have become like family, familiarity takes away the awkwardness. Although with that said i do hope to never have to see them all after this one. 

Embryo thawed well, said the embryologist…

And embryo is developing as it should a few hours after thawing.

She then told us that the shell of the embryo was very thick, so they performed assisted hatching to help it along.

As usual the procedure takes about 10 mins all up.

We could see a bright glow in my uterus where the embryo landed nicely along with a glob of embryo glue to help it stick.

Embryologist cleared the catheter and we were good to go.

No more doxycycline as of today instead start taking a low dose aspirin for the next 12 weeks.

Pregnancy test booked on the 20/11/2020

Drive into the clinic

Friday 13th September 2019, Stimulation #3, Embryo transfer #5

Friday 13th September 2019

Well what a day that was!

It was a Harvest full moon and it was our Anniversary of….a longtime together.

We were booked in for egg retrieval.

Yep, we went through yet another cycle of IVF,  making this our fifth embryo transfer and our third round of stimulation injections.

Lucky number three.

This time our fertility specialist upped the dose and tweaked it a bit in hope for more eggs.

Drug order was:  Menopur        300 ui

                                 Ovidrel            250 mcg

                                 Orgalutran     250 mcg

                                 Crinone 8%   90    mgm

Had a good run with it.

Didn’t really experience any dramatic hormonal side affects.

Although on the first follicular scan they only found 3 and they were underdeveloped

I had to remain on injections longer than I have before. 12 days of shots in the belly at this stage.

Then had a 2nd scan done, three more days of shots, and finally – they found 4 good sized follicles ready for harvest.

Yay, on cycle day 14 I stoped hormones and had the trigger shot to release those eggs for retrieval.

Ready for egg retrieval!

Then came…………………………….Friday the 13th

When I woke from anesthetic, had a tiny number 7 written in black pen on my palm.

That’s the best yet! Lucky number 7.

Mr R came and greeted me with a bunch of flowers and a big hug.

When this photo was taken I had no idea my dad had passed away yet.

We did it babe! HaPpY AnNiVeRsArY!

Home we went to rest, and think about how fertilisation is going every spare moment.

Must had fallen asleep as I woke on the lounge to my phone ringing.

Mr R was about to switch it on silent when I said “Wait , it may be my boss could you answer and tell her I’m asleep”.

Curling back up to return to my slumber I hear Mr R mention My Dad’s name, when I turned to look at at him I notice he was ghostly white and seems shocked.

“Who is it?’ I call out.

He covers the mouth piece and said “It’s your Dad….Your Dad died”.

Everything became a blur from that point on.

Having to travel 6 hours interstate.

Organise a funeral.

Travel back home for an embryo transfer.

Then travel back interstate for the ceremony.

Clean my fathers home and belongings up In time to return to work, already had so much time off due to IVF, had to return.

I had no time to think about myself during the two week wait (2WW).

Which in retrospect was a good thing I guess.

Except one thought that lingered.

When I told the Nurses at the fertility clinic about dad’s sudden passing, they all said one thing they have experienced many times while working there that “when there’s a death there always comes life afterwards”.

This gave me hope and saddened me.

To cut a long story short ,

The embryo did not stick around

1 of the 7 was damaged

1 died

4 fertilised – But weren’t developing fast enough and not fit for freezing

From 7 to none.

Its been 3 months after this dark period.

Have been a fake smiling, dragging one foot in front of the other trying to keep on keeping on.

Since then have not embarked on another round of IVF.

But instead ~ had a Hystoroscopy and an endometrial biopsy.

Our Specialist wanted to check the uterus make sure there’s no scar tissue, polyps or anything nasty going on in there.

And thank the heavens the results came back good!

Squeaky clean.

No issues down there.

Three weeks post-op my thyroid is a tad wonky and I have blood showing up in urine.

GP believes the blood could simply be inflammation from the hysteroscopy.

Was given a course of antibiotics ~

And now will have to follow up with my GP in the coming weeks.

Cant wait for a fresh new year. 2020 is going to be a good year!

Unsuccessful FET #4

🌀 20th July 2019 marked one year since our silent miscarriage.

{One whole entire year , gosh where the heck did those 365 days go??.}

22nd July 2019 we embarked upon another attempt at trying to conceive.

Our 4th effort.

This round was another natural (no hormones) frozen embryo transfer.

Nice and simple.

But at the same time pressure was  mounting.

Not only being our very last frozen embryo in storage…..

Just days before the transfer, I came down with a sneaky sore throat.

Naively thinking this was a one off. I dismissed it as nothing and gargled salt water in hopes to rid of any nasties.

But woke the next morning, crook as a dog.

Dam it!!!!

Terribly concerned I rang the nurses at the fertility clinic to ask for advice.

Nurse Michelle told me “as long as you don’t have a fever, it should be fine to proceed with the transfer ” and she finished with saying “But try not to get any worse!”

Great!

This cycle wasn’t a good start from the get go.

Remembering back, this little Embaby was a slow grower in the lab … while the others embryos developed to a 10 cell on day 3 after fertilization, this little one was only a 5 cell. Grade 3AB.

Being in two minds about my current situation I remained cautiously optimistic.

Made it to transfer day with only minor flu like symptoms and no high temperature.

The procedure went without a hitch and was all done in 5 minutes.

On the drive back home I nearly side swiped a taxi,  due to my own negligence.

Evading confrontation. Made it safely back, wiped the sweat from my brow and plonked down on the lounge.

This was just the beginning of a whirlwind two week wait ahead.

Had an inkling not to go ahead with this cycle during a mercury retrograde.

Even my mum an (astrologer) suggested waiting.

Should have listened but waiting is not my forte right now.

A summary of the first couple days during the 2WW:

I became terribly unwell with some kind of weird head cold- lost my voice completely.

Had a total communication breakdown with the one person who’s supposed to be my rock during all of this.

The company I work for constructed a new budget and decided to cut my hours in half.

Ended up in hospital with a head injury a day after the transfer.

Our family doctor of 9 years unexpectedly took leave for 6 months, forging us to start from scratch with an unfamiliar GP.

Relief staff that were supposed to cover my shifts during my period off to “relax” weren’t turning up to work.

Manager frantically relying on me to take on her responsibility’s.

Screw You universe I thought.

4 days past embryo transfer I was totally overwhelmed and far to sick to deal with any thing.

It’s no surprise that 7 days past transfer aunt flow came with the vengeance.

 

This time I felt numb no tears just disappointment.

But some how deep In my bones I know it’s going to be okay.

Fortunately I’m lucky to be in a position where I’m able to financially afford to have another crack at doing this.

Each attempt Has literally helped me become a healthier and better educated incubator.

I’m actually looking forward to moving forward.

Have left the self pity party behind and jumped back on the self love wagon heading towards the future.

Next appointment with our specialist is the 13/8/19

Only a few days away.

Yay!

Really excited this time around.

Bring it on

IVF got this baby!

28/5/18: Cycle Day 18 – Embryo Transfer! – 5 day old blastocyst

Meet our Grade AA embryo.

She or He was transferred at 11:15 am.

Verry pleased that we made a good quality em-baby’s this time. Believe the the CO-Q-10 supplements I’d began taking in February helped.

We were also blessed with more good news this morning….One embryo is a 4-AB and good for cryopreservation (freezing)!!

The other is a little behind, the lab will continue monitoring it for a further 24 hours to see if it catches up to its sibling.

Fingers tightly crossed.

I woke this morning with an upset belly needing to go to the toilet (a lot) for number two’s. Drank way to much chocolate milk last night and it didn’t agree with me. Dam it!  was starting to worry i’d never get off the toilet in time for the procedure.

Finally my guts gave me a break just in the nick of time. ( And yes I washed my behind before leaving)  Now I have to drink 500 ml of water before I get there.

Arrived at the lab with a full bladder, busting to get my legs up in the air.

Thankfully I didn’t have the same embryologist as my first transfer. (where the poor Dr had a tremor during the procedure) every thing went very well.

Although I did have an unusual personal experience that I thought was worth noting:  Tilted back in the chair, speculum in place, catheter inserted – Now here comes the embryo and woosh… up it goes.

This is the strange part. The verry  moment embryo touched my uterus – I felt a tickle in the back of my throat my eyes watered and I began uncontrollably coughing. nearly coughed the speculum across the room!

Tickled my insides….so weird.

45 minutes after the transfer, I had a random puke. Also weird, but felt completely fine.

Always have such an eventful time at that laboratory.

Praying this one implants and nestles in comfortably.

Lab will call tomorrow with an update on the 3rd Em-baby.