6th Embryo transfer – Failed.

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Image credit: Daniel Bogni on DevianArt

Today was the long awaited HCG (Human chorionic gonadotropin) blood test. 11 days past 6 day frozen embryo transfer.

Knew I was out 9 days past embryo transfer, done two home pregnancy tests that day – Both came back with A lonely single line.

But somehow still thought to myself, maybe it implanted late and there’s not enough HCG To be detected yet. And carried on obsessively symptom checking.

10 days past embryo transfer.

My goodness the days become years at this stage.

Took another test at lunchtime – Turned it face down (Russian roulette style) during the dreadful 3 minute wait, Fuck- Single line again.

How is it possible that I clung onto so much unrealistic hope …..Obviously because I want it so fucking badly, thats how. Remaining unusually positive-justifying different reasons why the HPT didn’t work – the brand maybe ? It was an old one. The time I peed? Crinone- can that effect the test? Dashes to check with google…….leads to more questions. Far out- Why do I do this every time!!!

This entire two week wait I had no spotting what so ever!

And no pregnancy symptoms either.

Heartbroken and numb.

I’ll walk forward through this pain and do it all again.

A couple days, before my high hopes were bought right back down to reality I stumbled upon an old quote which hit me right in the feels……………

QUOTE BY: Rainer Maria Rilke ~

“Let everything happen to you,

Beauty and terror

Just keep going

No feeling is final”

Frozen Embryo Transfer

13th April 2020 – 6th Embryo transfer

Already feeling lucky!

With all of this COVID19 pandemic, I was lucky to even be able to go ahead with any kind of IVF treatment.

Lucky I completed a full cycle of stimulation and had the egg retrieval last month and not this month. Our clinic has canceled all other procedures for the time being. Was really banking on getting this little embryo in my uterus before the Australian Government completely locks us down. My heart goes out to those who are currently in a position who aren’t able to be so fortunate.

Today was our lucky day.

At 10:45am I was scheduled for legs up in the air.

Arrived at the fertility clinic right on time, with a partial full bladder as instructed. Only to be told the Doctor was running late. Ok thats cool I thought….15 mins goes by ……Bladder filling up even more now…..20 mins goes past……oh my gosh I really need to pee. 24 mins late now.

The receptionist comes out and says ‘ you can let a little out if you need to, there is still one more person before you and the doctor hasn’t arrived yet’. And just as she finished saying that….. BAM The doctor flys through the door. Oh thank goodness I thought…..’Its okay’ I reply, “I’ll hold on to my bladder”.

Tell ya what, talk about kegel exercises – this was next level!

Pushing it to the limit – 40 minutes past the scheduled transfer. Busting to wee SO BAD. Finally got called in.

Running down the hallway alongside the nurse that is completely aware I may piss every where at any second. Ripped off my pants so fast that it could have been a party trick. Got into the treatment room and was ready for an embryo transfer.

They raised me to the ceiling ……tilted me back, lined up the ultrasound wand on my pelvis and bang ….the computer screen turns off!

Not enough time to panic before the screen comes back on. In goes the speculum (DRY) then the catheter and now here comes our embryo! With glue this time.

Ultrasound screen freezes. Not to worry, embryologist leapt to the rescue. Hit few buttons and we were back viewing a glowing dot on the screen. Embryo is where it should be. Dr counted 15 seconds on the clock before removing the catheter, then we were done.

This being my sixth round with this amazing fertility team the vibe was a lot more relaxed, bum out don’t care, assisting the nurse where I can, because I know the procedure so well. The staff have become family. It’s quite touching how much they all really want this as much as I do.

Heres thinking of you baby 2BB.

To promote and stabilise this pregnancy our treatment plan is to take : Aspirin 100mg ; to thin my blood aiming to help with implantation process. Prednisolone 15mg ; to Suppress my immune system, reducing immune cells called “Natural Killer Cells” which can help promote pregnancy.

Also took 17 days of Doxycline 100mg leading up to this frozen embryo transfer, to aid in warding off any possible infections.